I offered my friend assistance, they really really need it!
They accepted it. It felt wonderful.
I offered my friend assistance and they didn’t accept it. Well, it’s on them. I did my best.
They returned to me, weeping. They have so much heartache and sadness. I can see it vividly, I never have done what they did! Ever!
I offer assistance and they refuse it. I offer them advice and they refuse it. Offer them the wisdom of my experience and they cry harder. I have so much to share.
Well, maybe this just isn’t gonna work out. Maybe there is really nothing I can do. My other friends all agree I mean, how can anyone help someone who prevents everyone from helping?
And so I can consign this person to the dustbin of my heart where I think I’m respecting myself, my time, my efforts, and I leave them be.
I remember Tich Nhat Han once made the point that no injury ever healed from judgment. If the lettuces in the garden are not thriving, can criticism help them? Even lettuces only grow from kindness.
Compassion does not ask us to harm ourselves for someone else. Compassion is discovering that we are not harmed by loving openly. It is finding we are the healers, when we offer nothing but our receiving presence.
It is finding the strength within ourselves to stand silent at the edge of someone else’s battlefield to hold open our hearts to all their pain and suffering.
To be connected at the heart -
Is what makes me whole,
It is sacred, is healing.
It is enough.